`` IT's MY REAL LIFE JOURNEY. ;;

Friday, October 01, 2010 12:23 AM

Hmm its has been so long once again im back to my blogging.
My life is so simplifed after marriage so i dont think there is anything to blogged about. ;)

sometimes to me marriage is really like love tomb.
Somehow i then realised , after giving birth to babies,. you dont stand anything in your husband heart. cause babies more impt.
Its not something bad. at least he cares for the lill 2.

But a wife is not difficult to take care isnt?
a lill bit of care and concern , love and a lill bit of sweet talk sometimes makes her day happy.
But do all husband do that to their wife ?
thei think after marrying . their wife will stay with them forever. But do you know why some wife ran away ? not because they are farkers.
because they longed for the romance that they missed . they used to have.
They longed for those days when their husband woo them , the sweetness the tenderness.

I must admit im still a lill girl a young lady who haven really been through much before i settled down. I must say settling down is not a bad thing for me. BUT I NEED attentions from my husband , i need all his care and concern and not by calling me "AH SIAO" , " GIRL"
seriously. i dont even get a simple i love you from his mouth. i dont get to hear him call me "Dear" , " darling" . i dont get sweet honey words from him . i dont get his care and concern cause all he did was because of children. he will asked about children and will not asked about me.

Yes he tried hard to give me wad i want EG going out with my dear sisters. But , this is then 2 different matter, cause comes to relation , other than farking , i need romance love. you understand ? i need some sweet loving smiles i need some , " are you okay ? " "dont be sad darling" and not , quarrel whenever i mention , all the more i dont need " SORRY" i need your tender . I REALLY NEED LOVE!

Why am i always the one to pick fights? Do you think i love this. Im not trying to do that i just want you to know and understand! i just hope that you can listen to me ? cant you ? NOT ANYMORE? is it just because we are married ? I NEED A LISTENING EARS. AND NOT" SORRY ITS MY FAULT"

AGAIN AND AGAIN! theres no one fault , why can we learn from the mistake and pick up to live better ? i want him to know wad im thinking i chose to tell him . BUT ENDED UP QUARRELS EACH TIME.
So i guessed i have to hide it all in my heart and let it sank down to the bottom which hurts and JUST keep to myself and no one else?
voicing out makes my tears rolled. ok ok.. im controlling , but WHY!?!?!? WHY does he so mind about i drink ? I DONT GET DRUNK AND I always stopped whenever i get high. cause i still have the responsibilities , did i ever failed to do my job as a mum ?
I believe my mother in law witness all these. each time i went out chilling yes drinking .. i dont come back doing funny stuffs, i dont go back walking zig zag. i DONT JUST K.O.
i still look after my babies. So wads now? drinking is a problem ? just because he dont drink ? i sound like an offender? i sound idiot letting him quarrel again and again ?

I dont wanna mean a fight! i just wish to have a listening ears whens theres problems arise. when i need to talk to , and not the moment i start up a topic. ITS NOTHING BUT JUST ENDLESS QUARRELS. AND ITS OVER STUPID THINGS! FARK LA.

okok! perhaps im just not important. perhap just a tool to fark , to make love , to give birth , to command his obeys , to be a slave. BUT not a wife.

OKOK! i know. I'll just farking shutup and get lost at this moment!
thanks all~

Joanne-
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