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myLIFE. myLOVE. myJOURNEY - JOANNE.TAN






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 ichigobliss@starwberriesfantastie
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IT'S ALL ME._ 2010

two lill cows.
pregnancy
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Sunday, December 25, 2005
2:13 PM

MERRY XMAS and a HAPPIE NEW YEAR ! =D

ohh ~ 2005 is ending so0n . i had a memorable and suprising xmas ytd .*

other then ; celebrating wif dear ; i`ve got to celebrate wif my jaw. got a very nice two precious present from them and i LOVE it a lot lots. its so nice. omg!* so sorry ; as fer me i had a lill budget . get you guys a better ones fer ur bday in 2006 hees*

after wrk went to esplanade ; initiallie i din knoe tt dear was cuming . tot his VCD FEST was more than enuff fer him ... =x and it was a suprising * we had celebrate it wif a LOG cake . sparkling water JUICE ; LIQUORs ; and potatos chips! lols* but! it was a WET xmas . >.<

too bad im wrking ytd . if not i wud haf asked my dear JADLY out* it was such a waste ; but fer the sake of money . .. ive got to spent my xmas at HARK! >.<>

my head and stomach PAINS now ... feeling so no strength these few days .. stupid bodie.

LESLY !! DEE !! JESS !! MERRY XMAS. i m u . mUackks *
Joanne-
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Tuesday, December 20, 2005
5:55 PM

so boring*

dear came early in da morning when im slping *
had a freaking and serious headache ytd ...

slept till 2+ ; finallie went to see doctor . hmmm* its not aneroxia lah! stupid* but got slight fever ; sore throat ; headache ; dizziness ;slight flu .
he say corz dun knoe wad lahh * =x bec0rz of tt 0ne tt gibe me no appetide head ache and seh-ness . stomach cannot stand der any food inside . will vomit out ~ =x too long dun hab proper meal . just ate mac just now wif dear. and one icecream! hees* hope appetide was back . i presumed l0h *
doctor told me nt to haf any cheesy or chocolate thingy to avoid migrain .but my dinner is goin to haf chocolate. i believe cannot eat any more things =x

so... had 2 days MC. i knoe my attendance is goin from bad to wrost . after this week and holidays. im gonna dun pon lesson ler .. i nid As~ to go polies. =D

im feeling so MH now and so unwell ! gonna slp soon . MHSMRL.

dear thx fer bring me to doc* =x sorry to trouble ya~ mUacks.
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


12:32 AM

wheres that angel fer me ? santa dont i reallie deserve tt angel ?

i need sumone to hug me tight now ~

im perfectly on the verge of BREAKING DOWN !!!!

im just so useless / stupid!!


Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм



Monday, December 19, 2005
1:53 AM

my head is killing me .

wtf* head ache all day long . freaking head. KILL it man !

went wrk today .yah~ everything was so messy . but still alrite. din tok much corz sum things inside my head kept on pulling pulling . then teeth still pain . so tok in a gentle way .LOL* i believe its the onlie day pple find tt im gentle . =x

i still dun like food. how i wished i can finish ONE BURGER. =x was so hungry these few days ... but ...

yar ~ went elsie chalet. and so many things happened. tts why i said ; if i am her i also cannot ta han tt i`ve this kind of parents. i alr told mummie the day b4 . lucky me and mummie dun hab this kind of breakdown. its so lucky . boy stayed back wif me and dear. elsie was a good host but a bit ke lian her. she was so tired. dear and me and boy and elsie LAME outside chalet . it so was suprising tt BOy gonna stay back wif us. did nth much . slacking and crab ; then acc him go eat mac. then all of us came back . =x

onlie later by mummy an hr . lols ~

had a good nite wif dear* and perhaps boy ? at least no communication brkdwn fer A DAY. =D

dear ; ILU IMUSM. takecare~ sorry fer so many things .
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Saturday, December 17, 2005
6:34 PM

hmmm* im back . =D

just fiish watching wu chu cai hong* it was so nice. but it`s so pity . i just dun like xiao qian . -.-

i dun knoe wad happening to me these few days. but im finalie OKAY now. dun kn0e why after waking up ; feel like eating biscult . so just ate sum . at least wont hab the feeling of vomiting . so i presumed my appetide is back . =D teeth is wrking again . but it`s nt so pain as ytd . but at least it closed up my teeth gap . =D hees* so happiee ...

did not go fer wrk today . feeling damn tired and no much strength to wrk . today is a sat . i kn0w it`s gonna be a havoc ones. every fri and sat to me it`s just like a challenge. dear got to take over me. sorry dear . im so scare tt u`ll tired out urself . and got u never attend ur activity . sorry .no more next tyme . SORRies.

i dun knoe why am i having such feeling tt im reallied attached to ya* im so scared ... fer ..? thx ew fer being there these few days when i nid you . i must be so ma fan fer you . so sorries . and you knoe ? wadever u had promised me pls bear in mind. if not everytime u`ve a promise to me , pls note it dwn in ur hp. stop all ur wadever wadever. rem ? if not I`LL HATE YOU FOREVER . i mean it . no more broken promise fer me . pls...*

ytd had a read fortune session wif elsie frens. she say tt i`ll be able to travel in these year . and tt i`ve lots of money is the late future . wo0o* and i will haf a better relationship wif my brothers and u knoe ? friends ? . wad does it mean tt i have a loyal partner till the late future ?? is it goin to be hIm ? lols ~ but fer his ; he`s going to get a princess whereby the ger is going to be rich . so i doubt so . AND AND AND ! when im shuffling ; im thinkin of getting out of ITC. and she predict tt im gonna get good career in the sense of [ studies] . so does it mean im able to get out of ITC? lols~

hope later able to mit him ? hmm* iMhSM.
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Friday, December 16, 2005
1:28 AM

hmmm* a tiring day.

just came back from wrk . tml dear is gonna help me out at cre8ion .

gonna go iwad tml. mainly fer attendance. fer the 2 hr lesson . and then mayb back to dental and out to shop fer cousin`s and ah girl present l0h . nite gonna haf bbq and chalet fer both of us . it just happened on the same day . hees*

tml gonna be a broke day . after tml days will be like ... cant imagine ? but i knoe we`ll able to scrape tru .~ =D ILU* santa ; will my wishes cum true ?
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Thursday, December 15, 2005
3:37 AM

yup* finallie bAck! and n0w its 4am in da mrn. lol*

later 7 got to wake up! >.< letter =".=">

tokin to derry now ~ he`s accompanying me now till my hair dry...

went out at 7pm to orchard meet dear * NUA-ing ~ EAT-ing * basically is nothing de l0hs`~ but i had enj0yed myself t0day . =] A LOT. in fact no where to go in da end - went FANTASIE again . lol* half expected. corz i expected goin k-b0x. but goin fantasie is the same . corz we got one ro0m and sang till closing. =x but we BROKE ler TAI-PLAY de record ! shiok* ~ hmmm* dear ; had lorts of ur attp today . it realie SUCKS. rem wad u had PROMISE. i will never forget. pls TRY to fulfil it. PLS.* even though its realie a short day fer us ; i realie enj0yed. except fer - beginning ? =p anywayz ILU* happie 2nd mth anni. even though its not reallie tt long fer a relation * but fer all i knew. u are always der when i nid . ~ thanks you .ILU <3>

i had a phobia towards food now. wtf* vomit wadever i ate ; ate little ... has been days ... so sorry dear u treat ler but i din finish at all ~ lol* but u ate so much now u still eat ! PIG leah! omg* (oo)
urgh* then i kept on having headaches . lacking of slp ?

happie 2nd mth anni. ILU <3
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Monday, December 12, 2005
11:00 PM

back from bathe* dear just went h0me ...

managed to get you weii take over me. and lucky he did. was feeling damn not well* i knew he wud take over me . he was so good . corz he still got wrk in da morning and got to take over me in the nite. boy; im sorry . but thx as well . =p

saw DEE on bus* omg* so suprised . lol* she was like gong gong* and iMU. how are you guys getting ? les alr holidays ler leh . u all leh ? >.<

tue and wed nt wrking.it my relaxing day . FINALLIE. was so tired. URGH* hovering b/t wrk and studies. ONCE AGAIN. - SUCKS. thurs till mon wrking again . yup* fer sake of money . no choice. summore sumone got lost of his wrk .

im getting so lost fer this. i dun knoe wad shud i do . sumone pls tell me . i felt no one understands. all wud onlie say tt im wrong to forget abt this. but u do u knoe the feeling of hoping to be back while u feel tt u are being used ? anyone can say tt im stupid enuff to feel this way . but isnt it wad she is doing towards me ? im trying hard. it`s true . u are trying i also understand. in the 1st place when u set ur understanding ; im alr on the verge of giving up. u knoe how long ago i felt this way ? at the center pt ; she will say tt she`s trying to balancing up two fwens. but no matter wad im always the alternative ways fer her * this friendship HURTS. thx ew fer all u guys given me . im nt trying to gif up . im trying to stop my self from feeling be-ing used. i just dun like tt im always der when anyone else need but not when i need them . im nt trying to act as if im great noble freaking girl / friend. sumhow i just wished to finish my every thinking tt hovers inside my mind. wad actuallie shud i do ? tyme repeat history again and again . i got no more ways to stop all these im experiencing ; and tts why all i nid was to leave u guys alone. i knew once u guys are okie or back friends , everything wud be fine .

had been feeling freakin sucks. trying to explain to myself again and againx. pple might think tt im the one gifing up* so i shall let it be. i find it pointless repeating eventually . just say tt im a freaking one gifing up* i just dun wish to hear complaints when eithers one quarrel . and listen to how great or close u guys are . well ; u cud say im jealous ? i myself find myself jealousing too* if frendships contains jealousness , there no point. corz the balancing of tyme is nt there. ahh* wadever no pt trying to reason out . bloggie can u just tell me im freaking wuliao and stupid . this is just so freaking irony !
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Sunday, December 11, 2005
3:53 AM

actuallie im so redundant * nid not mi to be der anyway * im always stupid and suck a idiot . urgh* onlie a fool like mi gonna existx .

went fantasie ; yah other than ro0ms ... the hall is so empty! lol* so tried to sing as many songs as we cud. but sing till no songs* and fantasie closed early * ... was so tired* tt pool onlie played few rounds .

i just cant seemed to leave ur exisitance; ilu <3
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Saturday, December 10, 2005
5:00 AM

yup* back from a "FARKING" show. oh man* shud hab count rite frm the start theres how many FARKS. >.<

was in a dazed after the movie till now ? urgh* stupid ~
movies flashbacks had been hunting round my mind`~

went hark and psycho dear go onto stage . yaya qing tian`~ was it a good experience ? lol* let ya experience a feeling. so next tyme u can experience my feeling`~

had a very true dreams ytd nite. u know . smth u`ll get to dream of smth and tt once u woke up u`ll forget ? those are sort of fantasy dream. but sumhow .. got this funny dream seemed so real* but it`s a stupid one. its just connected to reality . >.<

i`ve got a hk bag from dear! lols sumhow feel like "PRINCESS" today huh`~ =x lol* at least i onlie spent on movie tickets and did nt spent much on my pay money ~ =D

dear ;
to say truth* i din expect ya to be so .. ya knoe ? u told me u are nt goin to be tt type . u knoe i knoe l0h`~ i EXPECTED de lah . can see de leah `~ so IIRRR romantic. =x but anyway just wanna tell ya ~ i will be just as happie to get wadever from u =D u knoe? even hmmm* a strawberrie ? LOL~ but dun ever use gifts to cover ur MISTAKE ! if not i`ll slap ya! HARD! =x

saw one of yangyoong on NR back home. ya* din kn0e he will greet me . c0rz sec sch din even tok at all ~ suprising he knew me. =p theres sum strange guy on da way back home`~

ANYWAY IM STILL SCARED BY TT SHOW~ how much i wish i cud fall deeply into sleep ~

mayb tml meeting les? hope so ; at least i w0nt be staying at home. but tymes staying at home cud be an enjoying thing . at least cud acc mummie~
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Friday, December 09, 2005
1:22 AM

tired*

nth much to blog - nth else to say *

today im inde- self =x its okies.

todaydo wadever hella thingy doesnt goes well fer me . it JUST suck* be it playing po0l* test * wrk or wadever. fark*

watching yu le 100% - and NICHOLAS TSE IS so SHUAI! omg* my laogong* hees* omg* he`s CUTE!! WAHAHAHA~

awaiting fer sat nite club*

i WAN TT bugis de HK BAG!!! >.<>
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Tuesday, December 06, 2005
5:01 PM

okie* im lagging n0w . stupid com .

feeling tired and not well now . how the heck i can slp so long and still tired . am i reallie a pig >.< definetly not as pig as you !

went late fer IWAD and wtf* she nearly dun wanna gif us attendance . =x went to OS kip tokin to MIN. so boring* sch was so... eeeks* can i faster ger out of ITC PLS..

got lorts of things haven done. NWF assignments. IWAD html project . and tml presentation . hmm* still got ? next week OS test ? wahaha* tight week ~

this week wrking all day except fer tml. dear`s going to wrk fer me . =x or shud i say is he nid sum cash ? =x went cre8ion played X-box wif them after wrk .and din knoe i was so cleber . =x * dead or alive * maijiam their fav game . =x i w0n i w0n .

tml mayb out wif min to get sum presents ? yah* u knoe chirs cuming and money going to spent in a fast way . BILL and braces .DEADLINE cuming . no more escaping .. urghh* im BROKE again. any SUGAR DADDY OR sum RICH guy wan me ? =X if not dear god let me win sum 4d mayb 500 is just enuff fer me fer THIS mth . i wud be more then happie . so i nid not save on so much thingy .

tml sch 900 . not gonna be late anymore. fcuk * had been late vfer sch this few days dun even knoe wads happening. but ..* tyme flies. i`ve been in ITC fer almost half a yr! omg* its has been a torturing and fortunate things .

** i dun think im able to tell u wad excatly had happened . all the things we`ve d0ne and i dun wished to bring it up * to you ; i may b unreasonable . wadever u wanna think* im nt gonna defend myself or rather bring myself to believe in u . trusting u mayb smth i used to . wad kind of friend u wants? who excatly are u ? wanna be true ? or trying to act like a fool ? you told me once and i`ve forgot ; tt how relaxing u were when u were wif me . *fer all i kn0w . ITs just like a sentence of hoaxing - and u just nid sumone to be there when u nid . but nid not tt person when u got elseone. IM not those whereby U cum and GO as and when u like. accusing is all i`ve got when i tried my best to satisfy u too . u are a princess. a real UNDEFINABLE one. im gonna stop guessing wad kind of person u are ... nid not try to preach back fer me . find tt particular fwen where u reallie wants to be wif . be it in sch or outside .
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Monday, December 05, 2005
2:21 AM

just finish watching star award. taped de. yahh* watch fann and christ` tt part. so pretty . fiona was not in -.-"

yah* got up damn early in da morng AND got played by sum FREAKING FARKER . dun show me the att of how u treat ur girl . i mean i dun find the reason tt u can asked us out and PS us in da end. * it getting so much stupid and funnie by gathering tt outing * so THANK YOU fer nt asking me out again . im so much happie. yah* just bcorz u g0t sum guys ALWAYS der fer u . and ur ALWAYS GIF in de girl u can getting from bad to wrost day by day ? it FREAKING RIDICULOUS.

went to ahma house half way tru 966 . ah ma was rather boring wif her life. bought her to NTUC bought things she lov and she liked. just wanna make her feel nt tt boring . met up wif 3rd aunt and went eat HAN`S. omg* KB der is getting so much like a neighbourhood shopping mall.~ lol* its onlit the colthes tt are rather out of fashion other then tt .no much diff from a simple shopping mall . things der are cheap ~ anyway THX fer PS-ing ; if not i w0nt be able to go my ah ma house. gonna stayed der fer the upcuming week . i mean after my HTMl project .=-D

wrkin HARK tml~ URGH?* IM SHORT OF CASH!! HOW HOW HOW?! HELP ME ? PLS PLS PLS. BRACES AND BILL! why i just cant have another 400 free ? my wrking are just enuff fer me to cover my BILLS ... and nt my expenses . HAIS.

hmm* left days ? so tt he wont be so busy ... yah* he told me tt ~ but .. HOPFULLIE it mean well . it made him totalie so shag . so ke lian * and tts why i`ve never bring this matter to him* i kn0e .im trying ... trying to understand everything * while im still learning .~

gotta slp ler . tml gotta wake up at 830 late fer his lesson i will be deadmeat !
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Sunday, December 04, 2005
5:28 AM

yup* finallie back to have a feeling of touching my com . even though its onlie 1 day since.

had a freaking tiring* day at cre8ion .dun understand why the hell today can be so much tiring. everything simply start the moment i stepped into cre8ion . urgh* i just dun like micheal .

was wrking at HARK ytd . sub pple who are having their exams . had a fun and nice day wif youweii as well as alvin* im totalie enjoying. lucky they are wrking wif me on chris`x EVE . At least i kn0w i w0nt be spending a BORING ones. =D wrk till 2am.`was supposed to vaccum floor AND lucky VIN ; MATT ; and one so cor UNCLE was there. they wanted to sent me h0me c0rz was much on the way then amos and xinyun`s . so managed to get away and in da end jane g0t to do it. a bit feeling bad . i g0t 6.50 as well as youweii .but he got to do so muuch thing and i just got to crap wif customer and serve .

ITS so unfiar! wrking at cre8ion was so much tougher then HARK. AND i`ve got 6.50 but cre8ion onli g0t 6 ! shud i find another one wif angel ? or shud i NOT gif up cre8i0n ? wad shud i do ? im still thinking and deciding*

got an assignment on html of our own profile . dun haf the tyme fer it on weekends * omg* g0t to wait fer derry to return me my bluetooth b4 i wanna start on it .~

URGH* im broke! and just at this time ! FARK* i`ve lost my another side of CONTACT!KNNCB* i kn0e im having my pay .god must still make me SPENT AWAY tt money ?! wtf* im sooo dulan* tot money can be used fer chris`x present and NOW?! fark* got to wrk at cre8ion HARDER even though its tiring* i reallie nid tt money man .~ URGH*

YAH* I just got to tell my self its just another few days more. or shud i say 1 more week* and he will nt be tt busy anymore . i`ll be waiting*

YAH*!! WATCH CHIX LILL ! OMG* SO KUTE! his expression was ... kute and kute and nth else but ... KUTE. he was a brave lill chicken . lol*

just wanna say .. im not as gentle or swit or wadever and wadever . im just this noisy , rough , or rather as however a noisy ones can be . so sorry i can be thse kind u like .. u may not be expecting but u mayb wondering why i just cant be like them . or perhaps im wrong fer accusing ? but anyway ... if one day u realised u are reallie sick of me .just ttell me. i wont be der nagging fer ur reasons ..

but anyway sorry fer today if i`ve spoilt ur mood . just dun reallie feel so much to tok to ya ~ be it im nt reallie feeling well or be it tt case or rather money matters.

gotta slp now. tml waking up at 1130 and beach-ing wif them . nites.*
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Friday, December 02, 2005
12:59 AM

!! im LACKING of slp . having headache now again!

damn tired now . waiting fer hair partly dry and to spent tyme wif HIM.

wth* tyme is reallie nt sufficient fer me . kept on having headaches . n0w im as if half dead .

qutting of HARK reallie is a BIG considerations fer me . i dun knoe why . neither ask me why . i dun knoe wad the hella reason . =x i just dun like im being scolded . yahh* tts the way i am . mayb there`s one day i reallie can take scoldings from pple ; i`ll be staying loyal to tt particular company .

im glad things are never same again . IT`S A BLESSED . =p

thx fer ur nite ytd . i simply enjoyed my day wif ya . sorry fer being unreasonable nowadays . ILH*

min; thx fer there these few days too * take care dun be like a panda . =]


Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм