`` IT's MY REAL LIFE JOURNEY. ;;




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myLIFE. myLOVE. myJOURNEY - JOANNE.TAN






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 ichigobliss@starwberriesfantastie
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IT'S ALL ME._ 2010

two lill cows.
pregnancy
my family
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Monday, May 24, 2010
11:13 PM

I just need a lill bit more love , a lill bit more concern and a lill bit more care.

Yet Ive realised I have none.
All i have is to accept the life tt im married. And my life has been taking for granted just because we are man and wife. How i wish life could be back to times when we are always in courting relations. So that i have a lill bit of everything more than now.

I sincerely treasure your each and single words of " i love you " and " thank you dear " But I have hear none of these just because our status has changed to "MARRIED" .
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Tuesday, May 18, 2010
4:47 PM

Am back from JB/KL mlysia trip.
this is really a bonus trip.

I do not expect i will be able to go KL. cause there's on and off arguements.
And i know he dont wish to go oversea , because of financial wise.

BUT!

We still went. We went to JB first cause his buddies are busy still. Den we drove in first . Yes. we spent around $100. in JB including the "tap and go" card , our dinner etc.

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We had our dinner at holiday plaze "cha chan ting"
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After dinner he decided to go to KL instead of staying in JB. We bought a ticket at larkin station. And then aboard on bus at 12am. Before that we went back home to park his car , and took a bus in instead. see how happy i am? HAHAH. im looking and longing so much for this getaway trip.
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So we reached KL at around 430am , and took a cab form the station to Times square. i mean OPP time square. lol - the star Inn hotel. hmm it was just a hotel, with one tv , one batheroom , one cupboard , and just like when you kill someone and you need a SIMPLE hotel to stay in. " thats wad he say " lol! slept till 1130 plus, and cam whoring , to remember that we had been to KL.
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this is the hotel.
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Early in the afternoon , we went to opp Times square to shop.
and had our lunch ? - at the chicken rice shop.
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... had this for $17.00 for 2 person. EXP hor!


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... the indoor amusement park. because of budget we did not spent the money playing.

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.., after the 3-4 hrs shopping at time square , i camwhore with my new sunglasses! haha and he ...

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.. with his "FENG YUN 2" SWORDS.
well, thats wad guys/ fav.

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.. see hoe childish is he ? LOL!

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.. these causes SGD200 plus. HAHA.hidden "treasures"

Shagg after one whole day , we had our dinner at the 24 hr street , opp our hotel.
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.. stingray,egg , sotong , BEER! etc causes SGD$30plus.

Den back to our hotel and the next day. ...

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... we end the 1 day trip at KL . ;) BACK TO SGP.

Yes. my short short last min getaway trip. though its just KL. but im happy. happy for the moments. ;) loves!
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Friday, May 14, 2010
11:39 AM

im back home because it is his bday today.

was longing for a trip to mlysia. but he's longing for a sleep instead.
I tried so hard to plann so much for him , even his presents and stuff. but seriously,
is a couple tgt for long , I MEAN WE ARE ONLY TGT FOR 1 YR!
saying loving you or thank you is not needed ?

I need. i need the " love you " i need the " thank you" to know im loved and the appreciation I did. but nevertheless, i had nth. i mean ,. sorry i do not have much money to buy you gucci wallet , to buy you your soccer jersey , to but you wadever you want.. i know as a wife im useless.
But telling me that you appreciate , is also meaningless?

I dont know how much i stand in your heart , or not even anymore. or babies overcome and stand everything in ur heart ?

I understand you are tired from your work , and blogging this is just another " not happy" blog towards you , you might think. But wad can i do to express out wad im not happy or dissapointed with ? With me by your side , telling you , " i love you " each time , wads your reaction ?

"yar yar , ok "


I dont know should i feel regrets. but i know now when im not happy , or sad , theres two to be by my side other then you. or even my friends. i want to tear , i want to shout , but who can i do it to ?? under blanket ? or behind the doors ? BY MYSELF? or with you by my side?
Who say its a blessing to get married with a hubby and children ? there many stories behind e door. ;)



can someone tell me , who is closer to you ? your partner , ur friends ? or your family ?
so near yet so far. i feel empty even with you by my side... ; '(

lastly , i dont know wad to do , : happy bday darling :
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Saturday, May 01, 2010
12:58 PM

Today is the first day of may.

Haa. i enjoyed myself yesterday night . Well although i REALISED i have a husband who dont care much about his wife and can left her waiting at another place while he can sleep at home. Im seriously angry about this. It makes me feel im so not important. Lucky i have my buddy with me. if not, i cannot imagine i'll be waiting alone for hours but to no ava? Tts stupid. i HATE HIME FOR BEING LIKE THIS. but im somehow used to it.

I think sooner or later I'll might dont even give a damn about this. Which i hate this. Cause i scare sooner or later i will dont give a damn about him or rather this relationship. Yes i will . and i do.

Thats why couples always end up relationship turn sour because of not being honest to each other or perhaps too used to each other. As for me , i know as long as the moment you made me feel i should not give a damn about you , THAT IT. yes even we have children. i mean kids might be on top piority but not YOU. ;)

Thats why at times im always reminding him please love me more and dont treat me as rubbish . I cannot imagine when he promise to fetch me and ended up sleeping , the moment he wake up . will he remember that he had left his wife somewhere out der waiting ?

THIS IS JUST A SOONER OR LATER. SOMETIMES I FEEL EMPTY BEING WITH HIM. i enjoy my life yesterday with zhengfu. yes my 8-9 yrs buddy. And i love my batch of sisters. i mean no matter wad , they will be in the first place of mine. Cause i love them all seriously. they are always der holding me when i was about to fall and not your partner.

Im angry, yes very angry and indeed dissapointment. But im also happy , cause i know if he sees me being happy and drunk , they will be quarrels. But i just cannot imagine HE WOULD HAVE LEFT HIS WIFE OUT DER WAITING WITHOUT REMEMBERING! WADS PROMISE? HAHA.
ai yar. tts a joke la. i mean I'll just .... forget it?

I remember my friends , and my buddys , that i have. smiling . pub life is still fun. so wad am i a mother? ;) i love to mixed with people... but being drunk is still horrible. LOL. im having a gathering soon on my lovely sis bday soon!

MAY is a hectic month. i think I'll drop all suprises for him. and bother more on my flea market with darling les rather then thinking of how to celebrate his bday and the 1 yr wedding anni.
At times he really forces me to do things thats not on my mind.
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм