`` IT's MY REAL LIFE JOURNEY. ;;

Saturday, October 31, 2009 5:49 PM

You wont know wad will happen in your life the next moment.
Just like I've got married and Im a married woman with two babies.
And that i cannot be wildful , and playful anymore.

Married life isnt as wonderful as my dream ones.
Anyway "home home got difficult chant bible" la.

Im dissapointed with my husband.
But in the meantime he is my husband i love him
You see how ironic life is ?
Im already trying so hard to change from who i am,bcorz im of different status now.
But he seems to be forcing me to change to the extreme side of me.
He wanted too much of my understanding which i lacked when im single. and learning to be now.
He wanted too much of my independence which im so lousy in. and learning to be less dependent.

BABIES coming out to see the world. See their mummy and daddy.
At least when babies are out , i wont be so boring. Im not alone. I always tot a hubby is for me to rely on. But actually im wrong. He will say tt im being crazy and unreasonable when i need his support and when im too depending on him. He'll get mad before i do if i cry infront of him. He'll just console me with some of his concern when im sad. and thats all.
I only get to talk and have his accompany for 1 hour out of his 24hrs.

And he would tell me , cause he need to work , can i understand him a lill bit.
And so i should say , did i fail to be a good wife ?

In future , when im going to work , and back home to look after babies , will our life be just eat sleep , and babies? will he still be as loving and sweet to me ? Will he still have time for me when i need him ? Will he be leaving me alone when im in trouble ? Or will he just sit aside when im sad?

This is life.
And thats why im a bad problem solver. I chose to run away. Run away from all these when it happened. I chose to come back home where i can feel at least love from mummy and my bro. I feel more relaxing when i need not bother wad others will say.
So should i say actually im not prepared to be married?
Or should i say , im a bad daughter in law?

I really hope my husband would understand. ESP when im preg.
I really hope he'll be der when i really need him , and not the time to eat dinner and chit chat for that 15 min b4 sleep.
I really hope that in future , he will still be there for me and I'll still be der for him when he needs me and when either ones need each other.
I hope he will be less dependent on his mother for financial wise.

Lastly I'll make sure my babies will not worries abt eat slp and play .
As well as Ill make sure husband is mine, I'll promised to worked hard to lessen his burden and stop relying on his mother.

This is joanne. A girl or a married life of hers.

Joanne-
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