`` IT's MY REAL LIFE JOURNEY. ;;

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 12:58 AM

alrights. back home at 1am today . at least did not touch liquor anymore

i mean FOR ONE DAY.

went pubbing at 6am with terry and guys.

skipped school today cause of farking cb kia - WIRA.

well i hate him THISSSSSSSSSSS much.

and faci kept asking me to accept him - as teammate.

fark lar. i mean if i ever team up wit him again i will just go back home immediately. except for codes modules. im not stupid anymore. i dun wan flung my code modules ALL BECORZ OF TT FARKER.

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tomorrow will be a new day , as well as a fine day . well

i do not mind confessing wadever im thinking.

i miss you. thisssss much. feeling lost when i lost you. but anyway i know you let go easily. perhaps its all about love. love will always be love. full of responsibility , commitments , trusts, love , care , concern , etc and many others.

tiring isnt ? but its also full of happiness where one can always remember but not all the quarrels.

i agree that coraz i had been missing all the happy moments we used to had. i mean for the 1/2 year we had been tgt for EVERY SINGLE DAYS not leaving each other.

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dear alvin,

you had been a great guy to me. though quarrels farking happened over stupid stuffs like over - tomato , milo, toking to myself , guys , pub and many others, but all the happy moments you had gave, i've not forget and will never. but i always believe time will tells a lot. i dun know whether will we be friends back again , but i wished. i promised i will not carry hopes neither pestering.

on this day , i know things perhaps will better when you had a stable job , good lifes with all your friends , or perhaps without me. but i just wanna say once again , i will never forget all the times we had been tgt. =) thanks.

loves,

joanne.

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310807

Im just a doll being controlled. Not happy nor sad.Numb feelings sad cant be expressed. Happy is a must to show. No attitude to be shown . Cause i wont be happy though.I must be a doll being control .Last im rally noe happy. Reality is often painful and euphoria doesnt last.

050907

jo's turn to write feelings this way. No choice. Till now i dun know wad am i to him.Is it still love ot is he trying to shake me off.am i really that irritating or am i really disturbing him .sad and dissapoint is wad i have. Just tell me he is treating me this way cause he loves me.

060907

Holidays soon.But im feeling so lonely. Wad happened ? i dun know I dun wan him to leave me .but wad he is showing me is just like im one side love.Waiting for him to finish his stuffs and sleep. Im not angry. thats all baby i still love you .

070907

Im not drunk. Went tox , all known people . I dun knwo since when life with him change. I dun wanna lose him But i know im trying to be independent too . no quarrels is wad i hope.im sick and tired of all quarrels . CHANGED.why becoming so impatient and hot tempered that i still cant be myself.

080907

No quarrels finally. But bcorz of small mstuff gonna cold war soon. So sick and tired , its like not going to care and like fark . if you not going to listen to me i will fark care .Well i must say i must use to it. After al , long relation are liketht , i will just had to act blur.

090907

As usual stupid, dun know wad made the days like fark . Only the time i feel he loves me is that when he really hug me on tram. After that is all about ...

140907

In tw 4th day But its not fun at all. Im dried up, seriously Quarrels over stupid things. I miss mummy . why am i so tired , i just feel like crying out.

180907

SO boring. i dun wanna join in mj session with his friends again. They dun like to play mj with me , cause they all scold / swan me .and i dun dare play , cause i scare people scold me.

281007

i feel that im not much of this world. If you want to scold beat just be it.

031207

He asked me why i talked sourly ,Cause from the day i was to do things alone , i realised i was no more the old joanne wer derwas always people to acc . What should i say ? independent ? haa k doesnt matter anyway. i dun need relysion anymore. Thanks for making me independent.

111107

Today is 11th alr. I wanted to give him nice suprise on 18th but im short of cash . SO short of cash , im useless.

201107

The person i miss is still not back the missing old me , lost and lonely.

031207

the day where by both of us had our own way . Perhaps life would be better for you , no trouble for you to worry. I believe i said it and i will regret it. but at least life will be better for you isnt? i know its all my thinking then just let it be. i just loves to lie and bluff to myself.

*** DI YI CI AI DE REN ***

---
你的爱从此不再
我承受不来消失的太快回来
回到我身边不要再离开
寂寞的城市我符合不来
回到我身边不要再离开
落下的雨水刺痛我的心
狠狠刺痛我的心
我知你永远回不来
---

Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм