`` IT's MY REAL LIFE JOURNEY. ;;




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myLIFE. myLOVE. myJOURNEY - JOANNE.TAN






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IT'S ALL ME._ 2010

two lill cows.
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Tuesday, September 27, 2005
4:10 PM

* I NEED A GUARDIAN ANGEL *




im so scare. i`ve lost my direction .
im so lost . i`ve missed my way in lyfe .
im just struggling .
lyfe`s been so down these few days .


Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Monday, September 26, 2005
4:22 PM

problems arise after one and other.

im back to myself since this wh0le day after i`ve been to hark. it`s a sudden sheldue ...

perhaps im meant to be single . i just dun knoe how to think or rather understand . i knoe im happy to be wif who and nt happie whenever any circumstance. i mean no one understand . onlie my heart knew c0rz it`s the one feeling so whenever my accompany was. actuallie i knew wad u are thinking. i knoehow u are feeling . but u cant possibly asking me to restrict myself ? u are most probaly wrking when im nt . and i believe i still got the tyme to get back in touch wibx my fwen or rather buddie ? those tt are realie by my side when u`re not . shud i gave them up just bec0rz i 0wn u ? i truely knew h0w u think . but i just cannot understand .

sumtyme i rather wish u just quarrel wib me and so let me knoe wad excatly the hell u want in me. then i can learn i mean SUMTYME not ALL TYME. dun quarrel till addicted. but theres one thing i will nid to promised is tt i w0nt restrict myself fr0m guys even if u do so .it n0t a law tt i nid to refrain myself from guys.


"but as stead, you've to let him in on you somehow occasionally ;
if nort he won't know was troubling you an ultimately will lose a sense of "security" for you "
sumone told me this but i still nid to say . perhaps im nt in fer relation . i nid pple to understand me but i just dun kn0e how to understand them back.

but just telling you. dearx iLU -
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Sunday, September 25, 2005
4:00 PM

im living in a world of UNWANTED .

fark* stupid place wif stupid attitude . im totally out of place.

just glad that you guys are always der fer me when i need you . im happie when im wib u guys. i felt im unwanted onlie in this terrible place . oh my ... it totallie. ... *urghh*

just came back form sk wib jaw. LOL* did nth ate LJS. nua ; tok ; see them studie . saw a l0st ARMY ID. angel g0t it and put int0 tt pers0n`s letter b0x. and it happened to be her ex sch mates. =x tt fellow mother came and acknowledge. LOL~ thx us and bought us potato chip . she tapped on me while we were smoking sia.. we seem like bad gers in her eyes but good gers as well.

im done fer! lol. i`ve mixed up my wrking sheldue. stupid harf just wanna me wrked thurs and sun. and im wrking on another cafe on sun. sat and sun im booked.and der same up this stupid wrking sun tyme -.-" cant u change my sheldue wib shaun ? cant he wrk sun and let me wrk on either days he`s wrking ? as fer creation cafe , im gonna tell him i cann0t wrk den. haii ers. ha0 bu r0ng yi g0t j0b and n0w sheldue messed up. stupid. wh0 knoe hark just wans me wrk 2 days ? spoilt my incume sheldue . s0 g0t to picked up 2nd j0b. shud i gave up hark ?? or creation ?

im reallie feeling damn TIGHT UP !!

just came back from mlysia as well. its a place full of seafood. ate seafood fer 2 days . typically breakfast lunch and dinner -.-" it nt tt FUN~ its rather boring .. NUAing is the main process. and i hate to go out wif familyy.... eeeks.

der`s compre test tml . hope it wud be her last less0n of stupid thingy . gonna start studying tml .. 18 oct exams sia ..

im missing yew*
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Friday, September 23, 2005
4:33 AM

just came back from school .

ytd went wrking / slacking. by rites it shud be fun working wibx dear. BUT... i just cant help forgetting tt incident. =x hope noone suspecting... haii err . it was so lamme. who asked we too fate liew* =x tyco also kana selected.

tml goin mlysia. later goin to les`s dad funeral . its was lykee... i d0nt even knoe h0w to express myself. gonna go to dental later. mayb nua wibx dearx. dun kn0e wen cuming out a nort ... so long no see her =D

hmmm`~ sunday i`ll be back . u guys gonna miss me.. wahahah . oh yah black ghost~ sorry fer hurting ur hand. but dun worry. it cant be seen ehh. u too black .

monster. u chu shi chu till ... forget me huh . =x LOL~ after tonite h0r. you gonna miss me. lolx

dee`~ hopefully by the tyme i back u`ve urself a j0bx.

mayb n0t gonna blag to nitex. s0rt of lazie. and goin les der. hopefully ying replied my msg . always like tt -.-"

gonna check dear`s result and bathe . missingg yew*
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Thursday, September 22, 2005
2:59 PM

pple realie followed their environment and change or shud i say grow up .
its the surroundings that one is in that made them changes the way they are thinking .

different people lives in diff surrounding. and it`s sort of diff fer diff types of pple to adapt to each of their surroundings. der a way of communication to the way where people lives. its all depend on ourselves.

went out to paradiz nua. interview sort of failed. dee`s addicted to maple. ended up nuaing at h0me. her attitude sucks . dun wanna stayed home. got weilong to acc me to find dearx. played pool and billard. haha! i`ve won him! =x happie. yeah. my mcfurry !

not goin fer tml yap lesson . kinda sian got to finish the stupid com ckill project omg* sort of wasting my tyme.
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Wednesday, September 21, 2005
2:58 PM

i`ve lost my path of way . forgetting the way to my happiness . which direction shud i be in ? which path am i on ? wads my ending point of my journey ?

yup ; he`ve got it rite . im alr on my way of losing my sense of direction . and all i did was to find excuses to get back on the track . how much i`ve wish lyfe wud be tt simple that no matter wad we did , WRONG / INCORRECT was not in our dictionarry . how much i wished i wud not had to made any decision . i seemed to be not myself these particular few days . wad excatly i nid ? which direction am i supposed to head fer ?

back from nuaing wibx fwen .. went to MS tot of goin fer inter . then ended up nuaing . yupx nua at wdls inter ; tok ler much . goin to inter wib dee tml. yup . fwenship is back . hmmm ... i believe there will be a never ending . as tyme passed by ; i believe grown-up wud be easier to settle things .

IM IN NEED OF MONEY !

oh yah ~ its my ½ yr of smoking. =x ½ yr ag0 , it was my 1st puff of cig by wen . LOL* and once again im reminded by her it was ½ yr ago! =x but wen angel ; u two had been part of my lyfe this few months . and i`wud had never ever forget u guys even though wadever happened in futuree .

i reallie dun knoe wad happened. facing ur attitude. i dun seemed to be myself. i kn0w im kinda noisy. in terms of character actuallie we are vice versa. fake bikering are our best communicating style. but i cant seem to tok nicely . im wondering. .. realie wondering ... the problem lies on ? me ? u ? both ? dun realie wish u will get to see this blog . but likewise hope u knew wad im thinking. i dun wished to be the one asking you wad happened each tyme i got to see your sians face. and your ans wud be " nothing" . to say truth , ur attitude is wrost then his AT TYMES. but the way you are treating me is i cannot comment on anything. im contradicting myself . as well as you if im not wrong . but hmm` ~ d0nt try t0 to0 stick t0 me . esp when we`re in 0ne grp . i`ve g0t to entertain b0th side . i cant esp glued to you . fwens wise wud had felt extra . i believe if things continued ; the next tyme we go out , wud be onlie two of us . if n0t ... i d0nt reallie understand myself. 0nce ; im being treated as [ hack care ] and n0w im being treated vice versa ; b0th i dislike . h0w am i supposed to phrase it out to u on f0ne ? i believe i w0nt pick up this topic to you . how am i able to understand you ? tru wires ? fone ? walkie talkie? computer ? *.*
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Tuesday, September 20, 2005
11:02 AM

**
sumtymes lyfe just seemed so diff to be brighten up when one`ve got t0ns of troubles . troubles are often found by pple who loves to think wild. we took and choose our own path of way . its also up to us whether we`ve received our happiness at the end of destination . if during this journey ; one tried to create troubles or even make fuss out of small mistakes , the ending of ur journey wif a fwenship / relation would be a unexpected one ; dissapointing \ sad .
**
to prevent ending of each journey ; compromising is needed . no matter lurfe relation ; fwenship ; of corz understanding matters much too . sumtymes u`ve got to undestand him and he/she`ve got to understand u . if none of them is reluctant to compromise each other ; TROUBLES would create and mayb that would eventually caused ; regretness .
**
Noone lurfes to feel regretful . including me too . so always asked urself as well as ur mind + heartx did u make the correct decision before u came up wif a fixed answer . and if u did ; dun tried to feel contradicting. corz its an answer made by 3 of u ; u [ urself ] ; ur [ heart ] and ur [brain] .
**
finallie no one controls you urself. do wadever u finds tt it`s rite. why bother to care about wad pple say . if wad pple says mind u ; u are alr contradicting ur self corz u are just trying to find reasons and prove tt wad u did is not wrong . do wadever u lyke . - follows ur heart follow ur mind . live the way of ur lyfe freely and not being restricted . its not goin against the law that living freely ; as happie as u lyke is a crime . do wadever u deem to do .
**

back from nuaing wibb monster ; stupid sia. fau lesson cancelled still dare say i kept on nvr attend her lesson. fark* how much i wish i can slap her. wad a MOUNTAIN TORTOISE tcher! urgh* ! tml im not goin to sch. gonna nua at home and do part project . =D finish project and im free~ flash 5 flash 5 ~ how am i goin to get flash 5 ?~ anyone got FLASH 5 Programme ? lend me PLS. im in nid of it . *thx*

im damn in need of money but where am i supposed to find ? haiis err .~ hark cafe is fine but wrking days are simply .. omg*

dearx this week im supposed onlie thurs wrking im able to see u bah . so try to make new ME. =x better try to tok to me. fri sat sun imi nt ard. dun miss me much . and stop gifing me ur attitude . it not delicious. and its farking full! kinda irritating. sms u u wont reply ah . nid me get u one 9000 M1 card?!

i just hate / dislike pple listed me as noisy creatures and stop asking me to shut up. if im able to shut up dun find tt it`s strange .


Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Saturday, September 17, 2005
2:35 PM

listening to ; dont wanna miss a thing - aerosmith

oh my holyy .. =x LOL~ im stress up and lacked of slp . got two pimples. =[

came back from kb0x [ MS ] wib mOnsterr . hmmm... as usual . . nice voice swit ; music to ears lohs . lols. dun fly huh monstEr. but ur zhou hua jian is ER XIN + LAME. =x MS de k actualie is v v go0d. wah ~ their service more good man . omg* damn bloody politee. bth* thinking back tt tyme im wrking at box ; im damn fustrated by customers. esp YAYA customer. ! =x and they can bloody smile and sooo polite to us =x omg*but we are nt yaya lah . just tt ... mayb i dun hab the patience to treat customer well .=X

nth to do after 730 ; went to slack ard MS. then... headed towards bugis. tot of 960 goin home. dun wanna spent ezlink $ . went to to0k neoprints . lols~ since long i`ve wanting to take neoprints. wo0 hoo~ finallie fufill . hees~ mummie c0red and we went to PS. =x monster crap wif her a while then we went to LJS ate . and he was sent to the location he wanted . =x saved his transport. and thx fer accing me the whole dayy . =D

had my cmain test . omg* it was a pathetic test . LOL~ i`ve tried to memorise so hard. and came to forget PART of it . =x so i just tried my luck den . as fer the rest which i dun even had any hints of filling them up , i left blanks. hope its not tt wrost . im craving fer a high score in ITC leahh . =[ cannot afford to faill ... i`ll try to wrk hard de. pls HELP me .

OF CORZ I TOO WANTED DEFINETLY WANTED TO PASSED MY O LVL [ ENG ] .

im nowadays actualie stressed of wrk sia. omg* i mean sch wrk . lols~ i just cannot finish .

handed up com skill project ; wad the fark dun kneo shud i be happy or dulan . being PRAISED tt im cre8tive and artistic ; but said tt my product sucks. wth* is she reali tt mountain tortoise ? cher ; i`ve got edvidence and refrences to let u see lah . i wont be bother to rEDO the stupid project lahx. its wasting PARTICALLY OF my tyme. im willing to do the project was also bc0rz of myself. =x but im totally ran out of tyme lohhs. urgghh* stupid .

summore the news of no holidays realie sucks. yah holiday ? as IF.. got to return fer other mouldule.. eeeks.. suck suck suck

waiting fer my dear sh0n finish work . wah liew~ he`s wrking lyke damn stress . lyke cant even tok .. wad the.. ya ya i proved u wrong . faster cum back nehs. =x

monster ; i knoe nowadays u are kinda... hmm`~ how shud i say ? u knoe i knoe l0hs. but dun worry cheer up! =D if u see this.just let u knoe like wad i`ve said in neoprints ; i will always be there when u nid me. we are NOT FWENs~ . we are BEST BUDDIES! =D *<3u
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Wednesday, September 14, 2005
2:56 AM

10 yrs down the road ;
wad we`ll be doing ;
wud be wad and
who we are now;
hands on tgt ;
lurfing; caring
missing ; hugging
tightly lyke we are not gonna to part.
- eternity.

** ilurfeu.
<3>

went out wib CROW and dearx to whereever ; they came and fetch me from sch ; waited .
went fer pub inters. so funny omg* typical .. hmmm`x. yupx.. KIDS. =x
i`ve enjoyed myself even though we are onlie slacking out. looking forward to k-sters and mlysia wif muahcheee ah`b0y. =x lOL.

tons of tots or funny questions had been poping up in my mind . why .. wad ? how ?
and n0wadays i`ve been stressed up by project tests and assignments . and corz ; O lvl eng . wad the hell happening ? how cum everything crush up tgt ? this few days kept on having headache . was it due to nt enuff of slp ? so in nid of money ... had been spending money these few days - like water flowing off from tap . =x kies. its tyme to CLOSE up the tap to0x. tml lunch shall auto liew`~ dinner go cafe settle . LOL~ haben got my concession yet . e-zlink gonna broke. spent $5/- in 2 day tyme. ohh my ...

wrking tml . lucky wib wen ; ilurfe wrking wib her. =D angel ; im missing u nehh . so good of u still got think dao me . =X dun too stressed up wif ur studiees. relac a bit cum find me. =D


Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Monday, September 12, 2005
4:17 PM

im gonna leave my lyfe to yew . u realie makes my day filled wif energy sia. =x
thx fer ur ichigobliss /=D if i`ve never met u ; i wud not have realised wad`s lurfe is .

wen said u are realie better too neh . perhaps its true abt my points of astrology .
just to say ; dear i lurfe u. <3
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


1:05 PM

haii eers . fed up ; test projects and test and assignments! wad the ...

money money money . i wanna hello kitty chee-ez ~ !! i wan i nid 500$ . pay back my hp to em and i wan tt digi cam! i just wan. im gonna get it .

im wondering whether am i thinking too much or am i too sensitive ;
are fwens supposed to be like this ? yahhx i presumes if this are the way to be , then they are nt the type of fwen worth to mixed wif.. i`ve realised each tyme im attatch , everyone seem to drift from me . cant everything just be the same as usual ? im nt being tied down . im nt tt in lurfe tt i will forget u guys are there by my sidee. . urggh* irritating.

im sort of stressed up by all the projects and test . lucky i`ve U. typically my engery huh. = x immissing u.

gonna studiie . i`ve got to passed his test. but things just cant get into my mind. im sort of slow learner sia.
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм



Sunday, September 11, 2005
1:12 PM

back form gm house ; practically nth to do and of corz goin to her house was asked to eat eat aNd eatx .

went fisherman wif them ytd. lols`~ so lame. and zervon was there .-.-" qi guaii de ger ger. cannot enter into her world diff to tok to her too . jitao drink heniken damn ex. and ran out of cig! wth*

gonna wrk tml morning. and studie later. fark* DBF project ; dbf assignment ; ccmain test ; cskill test ; so many things nid to do . i believe its tyme fer me to catch up.

i totaly enjoyed myself ytd even though everyone was so shagg . but it was a fun day .

lyfe with you brightens up my day . ilurfeu. * 9090 *
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Wednesday, September 07, 2005
4:25 PM

again `~ back from work . slack wif wen ; mOnster ; shaun .

wow ~ they realie spice up my lyfe these two days . =x wo0o0wo0o ~

but once i saw that wadever lasyboss , im irritated. wtf* cant she just shut her mouth fer one min ? or rather ONE DAY?

asked daniel to bring her out . lOL~ and he did , so once again . cafe was ours! =x yahh games ; slack ; toks ; smoke . eat .. and cause punishments. hees`~

u guys do hab patience . sit till closing huh . =x LOL~ peii fu .

shaun ; rem to studie a bit bit tml kies? at least simple knowledge.. =D thx fer accing me.

monster ; u are realie damn KIDDY sia. omg* but u are reali a go0d fwen tt i can say . =D hope things goes well fer u . =]

wynn ; dun be polisher to tt wadever lady . she dun worth . and i dun think have the nid to treat her tt good. thx ew fer ur accing. =D

its my lyfe ; my fwens . ilurfeu.

** don't wanna close my eyesI don't wanna fall asleepCause I'd miss you, babyAnd I don't wanna miss a thingCause even when I dream of youThe sweetest dream will never doI'd still miss you, babyAnd I don't wanna miss a thing **
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Tuesday, September 06, 2005
4:09 PM

im happie wif u guys accing me .

in sch - min ; eddie ; ryan . my slacking khakis. but sumthing arouse .

in wrk - wen and shaun . i mean today onlie. everything was so fun onlie when sum other pple nth der. it was so fun . i`ve enjoyed myself. thx tt u`re der ...

just happie with u ard by my side .

ddieee kAKa`~ dun be stress up or rather troubled up by wad happened ... i reali dun knoe wad to do .p perhaps miting the wrong pple in ur lyfe ? but most impt be happie l0hx. fwen like me will always be der if u nid =X lols. kies lah . dun sad huh .=D

will wad u said to me be truth ? *i`ll trust u . <3
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


1:01 AM

haii err . i dun knoe wad the hell am i thinking . wad excatly i wanna knoe ? feeling just so faustrated . had i gone the wrong direction ?
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм



Monday, September 05, 2005
2:30 AM

back from work . wah * today is damn tired sia. ytd had a sleep of 4 hrs onli .

i enjoyedmyself ytd. im happy . der`s black ; shawn ; monster . they are my slacking fwens. i simply lurfe them . so crazy and happy . but monster ytd never eat pple. he hungry and tired . he search ler one whole day . kana psycho to watched movie ; but did nt succeed . =[ arcarde ; movies ; craps ; slack ; AP ; LGS ; every everything ... im happiex. black had been PS by fwen . stupid them . sorry making u wait so long . =D BUT hor..., go0d thing are often worth to wait leh. =x reached home at 430 .

wrking at cafe ; scary ; pek ; dulan . every bodie was like kinda bad mood. wad the ... how cum im so scare of wrking alone ? w/o wen ? i believe i cant survive over there , everybody was like in conflicts. im sumhow in da middle just now. who shud i side ? i just cannot stand both of their ideas. one is chin chye. one is concept . dun ever try to put me in middle again . but i had to swallow wadever hardness. $400/- is still unreturn.

wen ; u told me u will be der when i nid u . thxew. but i hope its truely true . and thx fer ur brkfast lunch and dinner =x

** its onlie a step to cross over the boundary of fwenship and lurfe . sumtymes u will nt realise that u`ve taken that step , and thus u will nt knoe wad kind of "ship" you are having with him/her .

sumtymes u gotta wait fer your turn in order to get a lurfe of urs. and remain for go0d .
and... thats` why i sayy ... go0d things are worth to wait. =X
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Saturday, September 03, 2005
2:45 PM

**
good fwens are those whereby u are in trouble and they are just there helping u . they shared the woes as well as the happiness.

**

lucky he was der . a good monster to help me wif my stuffs. i just can say ITS JUST NOT MY DAY. simply kept on losing items. hate myself *URGH! im just an isiot which dun knoe how to kept well my own items. now i`ve lost I/C mummie did not add on to it but just saying why im so careless . yah.. i admit loh . mayb i was too crazy playing wif monster that made my cardcase drop .

a good monster . find da whole PS ; all da way . PLAY truout the journey . went all da way to tanglin . =x lols. pay all da way .

thx ew monster ; i`ve enjoyed my day . but so sorry of my carelesness tt made u waste tyme ..

saw ian and hx >.< nt going to elaborate .

brother`s back ! oh my ... im gonna enjoyed my days . =x

did nt went to chalet ; terry had nt bothered to msg me in details so did nt get da catch up and since so , dun feel like going. but came to realised corz his hp low batt. but however , i believed they enjoyed themselves .

every one gonna get LOTAS of project and TESTS stuffs . haiis. its okie. i might as weel take the chance and studie den .

oh yah! received warning letter. idiot . fark man gonna attend every of his lesson! wad the ...

*fwens just played an impt part fer me. ilurfeeuguys .
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм


Thursday, September 01, 2005
2:44 PM

people changed as tyme passed . and they realie do changed . attitude ? proud ? kind ? swit?

went back to sec sch ; saw tchers whom i wanna saw . =x

mr ratish said i passed my eng oral! omg* i immediately got shocked! =x im happie. O LVL ORAL I`VE GOT A PAST im alr satisfy. corz i knew i did v badly in oralx. i realie must admitx ... but how cum i`ve got a passed sia ? =x

goin to go mlysia tml mrn. gonna rush back acc muah chee fer her model interview . go0d fer u girl; its a new path of lyfe. =D

pple changed as their heart change. they follow wad they wan in their mind and not in their heartx. at that point whereby they`ve got to made decision ; they probably tried to decide using their heartx ; but often came to know that it was onlie their brain which is making decision fer them. and thats whyx most decision they had been made are always came to known as - regrets.

forget me ytd ? yah .. bluff me slept early huh ? then told me da truth . u wanna me slap u huh ? tok on da f0ne wib him today fer 45 min and fer tt particular last phrase ; fone `ve cuped. =x no more $ . expected . yup . ur " missing me lots " so heart warming huh . waiting u to be back <3

* lurfe is YOU . <3
Joanne-
ïи♥щїғħīм